FIVE DAYS TIL HALLOWEEN and here’s how the pumpkin thing is gonna go down — all the pumpkins you can carry for $12!

You must pick them in the pumpkin patch…

…and carry them by yourself — no tote bags, pack mules, or little red wagons.

This would not count as a $12 “carry,” although you can drive your haul down to the stand at checkout time. Then load up your arms with pumpkins and walk to the cashier. Whatever you carry costs only $12!

We also have prepicked pumpkins out front. They are priced according to our normal scheme — how they compare to the size of your head. It’s a fun old game. Want a hint? Let your kids buy their own.

Next to the pumpkin patch is a knee-high forest of Brussels sprouts. They are just waiting to be lopped. The loppers are supposedly hanging on this sign. It is magnetic poetry, farm-style: all the pieces are screwed in.

There are 5 s’s in “Brussels sprouts,” not 4. Just a reminder.

Apple season is dwindling down to the last couple days of picking. But there is fruit to be found in the Vintage Orchard. Saw a young couple — all flirty and apple-cheeked in the autumn air — picking a bushel of Rome Beauties yesterday.

You can always turn to your local farmer for expert tasting notes. We worked particularly hard on the McIntosh description. You’ll find prepicked Macs at the stand, as well as Mutsu, Cortland, Rome Beauty, and Red Spy.

Big sale on “utility” apples. They have a few birth marks or life scars. People are like, “Eww, a birth mark or life scar,” so these apples get downgraded to the utility bin. These are not airbrushed Hollywood apples, they are real apples for baking, saucing, and eating. Only $4 for a 5-pound bag and $6 a peck!

If you wish to make apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. Carl Sagan said that billions and billions of times.

And if you wish to create a tree-hugging dirt worshipper, you must first train him to be a blossom-kissing flower-whisperer.

Do it right and he’ll turn out like this — brawny, capable, and suggestible.

PHOTOS FROM Y’ALL

And now a quick break for beautiful pictures from a customer, Charles E. He sent this mouth-watering shot of last night’s dinner — Brussels sprouts from Indian Creek Farm and goodies from other farms around town. Inspiring!

Here is his little Mutsu Monster. Didn’t have the heart to tell the kid that it’s not an ear of corn. Nom nom nom…

WHAT ELSE IS COOKING?

Last week’s pepper sale gets even crazier this week — buy 5 pounds and pay $1 a pound (sweet) or $1.50 (hot). Time to score a winter’s worth of flavor.

Make up a bag of sweets and a bag of hots. Chop and freeze.

Hot spiced cider makes a gray day brighter. Stuff is so good — especially when you knock back alternating shots of hot cider and cold Orchard Ambrosia.

It wouldn’t be fall at the farm without a world-class assortment of dead flowers. The Goth crowd will be here selecting specimens for their Halloween costumes.

Dare you to wear this on your derriere.

The whiteboard in our workshop is like the internet — everything written there is true. Today it says, “Mox nox in rem,” which is Latin for, “Let’s get on with things, night is coming.” And by night we mean winter. So get out here and pick.

Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.