Fresh Nothing Alert — Shakespeare and Sherlock Predict Strawberries.

“IT IS NOT an airy nothing,” said Sherlock Holmes to Doctor Watson. “On the contrary, it is solid enough for a man to break his hand over.”

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This week’s crop alert is about nothing—no crops ready to pick—but something all the same. Something solid enough to break one’s hands over.

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One’s farmhands, that is. Oh, they usually don’t break. We hope they don’t break. They bend and they sway, but we hope they don’t break.

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They swing and they sway, and they sing through the day. They are synchronized swimmers in a sea of small trees.

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But really they are hands. More than legs, backs, and boots, they are hands with opposable thumbs… and the dexterity thereby conferred.

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They are hands that graft and bud and tape and tie.

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Hands that hold and crimp and fold and snip. Hands that trust each other—that trust little brother—with the mashing mandibular crimpers.

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Okay, they are faces, too. Like our newest import from the Cumberland Gap—way down where they grow premium rednecks, er, red beards.

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And another pair of hands, working a different kind of wire. Not a deer fence, but a vineyard trellis. Training grapevines to grow down the line.

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That’d be Alex, our neighbor to the north, just a shalestone skippety-skip across Indian Creek. Which makes his vineyard our Canada, and him our Canuck.

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His tea-drinking pinkie, a nod to the Crown?

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And Tommy’s tiny seedlings, not yet in the ground.

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It is all hands on deck when a clod jams the gear.

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And pruning by hand the first trees of the year.

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But what is this something? This something that is not a crop… yet not an airy nothing? This rock-solid thing to break your hands over?

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It is an idea, a promise. That if you keep plugging away, and steering your tractor toward the flag, you will pull good people in.

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Folks will gather when strawberries pop. Bushels of apples will have pickers to pick them. Familiar faces will come to the farmstand.

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A great big family of intrepid picker-poets whose imagination, as Shakespeare taught us, “gives to airy nothing
 a local habitation and a name.”

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Yes, that’s the thing—the nothing that is actually something. “Aye,” cried Holmes, “that’s the genius and the wonder of the thing!”

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Well, Farm Fans, that is our Midspring Night’s Dream—you coming out to pick strawberries in “6”… The sixth month. June will be here soon.

Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.

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Please Come Smell the Farm at Your Earliest Convenience.

PEOPLE OF THE CREEK, hello and happy spring. Our Chief Croperating Officer says it is time to talk about buds and blossoms. For the next few days, you will find thousands of fruit trees here bursting with flower power.

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A pretty time for a picnic. Come out with the family. Feast your nose on these babies. Won’t be long before the petals fall, and out pops a peach.

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The pear trees have salt-n-pepper flowers. Select one (but don’t pick it!) and jam your schnozz right in. Sneeze if you must, it’s part of the game.

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Feels like an apple blossom cafe out here. Say, remember the Apple Blossom Cafe? ABC? Great old place with tasty home fries. Fed a lot of folks in town.

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Wind and rain will try to knock off the petals before you get here. Now is your chance to show Mother Nature who’s boss. Sneak over soon!

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You might find us working as you wander. If you see the lads in this rig, tell them it is beautiful. They built it from scratch this winter.

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It’s called a planter. But, really, people do the planting. Dudes ride along and stick trees in the ground. Another dude stamps them in.

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Meantime, up in the strawberries, we got a guy tending every plant. Works all 10,000 plants on bended knee. Weeding and clearing for a healthy crop.

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Here’s the first strawberry of the year. If you eat it now you will deprive Future You of eating it later. Be kind to your elders, including Future You.

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Nothing to see here. Please continue past the science experiment without any snickering. We are professionals and everything is under control.

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If you go too far past the berry patch, watch out for the neighbors. They are super mean country people. They will shoo you off with a woofety-woof.

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But you’ll get a garlicky grin if you praise their huge garden. They grow garlic galore, hops for beer, and all kinds of stuff next to the farm.

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As you walk back down the hill, there is a ‘Henge to rest your hiney. Eventually, we will be scattering picnic tables around the farm.

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And soon the Pigs-n-Apples table will have custom-made swivel stools. Got to tick a few things off the to-do list before that happens.

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Keep your eyes peeled for Yarlington. He is trundling around in the blue tractor fitting the fields, as they say. Plowing and whatnot.

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Doesn’t get more springish than this—fresh dirt turned over by the moldboard plow. It will be a vegetable field this year.

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Well, as you can see, things are pretty dandy down here. Walk the 1,600 trees of the dwarf orchard to saturate your neural olfactory networks.

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Even the ‘lions are dandy this time of year.

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As is Balto. He had a hard winter, but the Cornell vets put him back together.

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But there is nothing more dandy than Owen Appleseed in his winter beard. Hurry up and shave, sir, company is coming!

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Happy to be in touch again. Stay tuned for strawberry crop alerts. Until then, hope to see you at The ‘Creek.

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

This Apple Product Will Crush Your iPad So Bad.

WELCOME, FRUIT FANS, to the year 2013.  We live in confusing times:  Linsanity and Honey Boo Boo, a fiscal cliff and a bogus apocalypse.  How can we clear our heads?  Perhaps a picture-puzzle will help, one that reveals a timeless truth.

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Let us begin.  If you are you reading this on your new iPad, great.  It must be an awfully nice device.  Perhaps you’ve named it The Precious or Bob or Sweetie.

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As you tinker on your touch screen, take note of the Cummins clan, that weird family down the street.  They are digging holes in the yard again.

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What the heck are they looking for?  Didn’t they get the memo that earthly pleasures are found on the web, not in the earth?

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Stubborn old bumpkins, digging holes with a shovel!  Any iPad could do that for you.  Oh, wait, your new gadget can’t dig a hole?  What a pity.

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What’s that you say?  It can’t be left in the rain, either?  You can’t spill merlot on it?  You can’t hang a hammock from your iPad, or even a kiddie swing?

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And you have to pay for apps?  You have to keep charging it to make it work?  You can’t even eat it, or squeeze it for juice?

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Okay, but surely your gadget gets better with time, right?  In 20 years, will Precious be just another Orange Julius in the Food Court of history?

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Aye, she will be.  Gone and forgotten.  But how about those Cumminses:  Will their wacky idea be fruitless and forgotten?

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No, ma’am, they are planting a tree.  An apple tree, raised from a twig at Cummins Nursery, right here on the back acres of Indian Creek Farm.

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It is one of 30,000 baby fruit trees that we raise every year, designed specifically for yards like yours.  Over 400 varieties.

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You can plant one, too.  The apples range from Akane to Zestar.  Or you can grow Honeycrisp, the trendy (if a little barren, culturally) favorite of soccer moms.

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Our apple products beat Apple™ products in head-to-head tests.  They don’t freeze like an iPad or butt-dial like an iPhone.

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And the savings are amazing.  For less than 20 bucks, you can have your dream tree.  You can buy a whole orchard for the price of one iPad.  But, best of all…

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Voila!  Bingo!  Booyah!  Your tree comes preinstalled with hundreds of free apps that update yearly.  Each tree is a living gift that could keep on giving for 100 years.

So, gather some friends and dig a hole.  Drop in a tree, cover the roots, and do a little dance.  Invite the gang back for the harvest each fall.


HOW TO RESERVE YOUR TREES NOW


Now is the time to order.  We still have a broad selection, and we’ll ship your tree in time for spring planting.  Local friends can pick up trees here on the farm.

  • Visit the nursery web site at cumminsnursery.com for general info
  • See our database of available trees and jot down your wish list
  • Browse the apples, pears, peaches, plums, cherries, and apricots
  • Send your wish list to cumminsnursery@gmail.com
  • We’ll get back to you with a quote and answers to your questions
  • You can reach us by phone at 607-592-2801.

Tell us where you live so we can steer you towards disease-resistant varieties that are suited for your area.  Happy Tree Shopping and Happy New Year.

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz | 1 Comment