Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz
Category Archives: Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz
On America’s 244th Berrythday, You Can Pick the Last Strawberries, First Raspberries, Fresh Donuts; Also, a Shocking Truth Revealed – Where Do the Strawberries Go?
DEAREST FARMKETEERS, this is the state of things: Your elected officials have their heads in the sand; many fellow citizens have their heads in their hands; the meteorologists have their heads in the clouds; and, the astronomers have their heads … Continue reading
When Life Hands You Lemons, Pick Strawberries; Also Eat Donuts, Slurp Slushees, and Sauté Scapes; All While Wearing a Mask and Staying 1,828,000,000 Nanometers (6 Feet) Apart; Ready Go.
BELOVED FARMKETEERS: Aloha from the Fairy Kingdom of Strawberristan! Where daiquiris flow like fake news in a baroque oligarchy. Yes, the farm is open, this is the first Fresh Crop Alert of the year, and you can pick your own … Continue reading
“Happle Holidays” to the Stars in Our Sky and the Peaches in Our Pie; All Donuts Have Flown South; 5,628 Trees Picked Clean; Get Free Cider Shipping and One Free Invention.
DEAR FARMKETEERS: Look at the night sky. You might see 10 or 100 or 1,000 stars – but there are one billion trillion stars in the universe. Some simply shine brighter. And you, Farm Fans, well… you are the stars … Continue reading
Final Apple Harvest Sale – Just 99¢ a Pound for All Lovely Apples on the Farm; Get 2-for-1 Stalks ($5) in Our “Sprussels” Spree; New Hours Til 6:00 PM Daily; Is This the Last Weekend of Donuts?
DEAREST FARMKETEERS: To call our twofer sale on Brussel Sprouts a “spree” is surely hyperbole of Fox Newsian or Washington Postian proportions (your choice). Truth is, we will likely see around 12 customers this weekend. The sky has gone dim … Continue reading
HAPPLE HALLOWEEN! Last Chance Apple Sale Only 99¢/lb for All U-Pick and We-Pick Apples; Help Us Finish a Beautiful Harvest; 2-for-1 Brussel Sprouts; Free Quirk Dropoff & Storage; Donuts & Cider.
DEAR FARMKETEERS: The super-secret farm plan was to send you a special Fresh Crop Alert this past Monday morning, wherein we would trumpet our First Annual Big Ol’ Pumpkin Clearance Sale, such that no pumpkin would be left behind come … Continue reading
One Week Til ‘Ween Means Last Burst of Pumpkin & Apple Picking; Get Jugs of Sweet Old-Time Cider; Fresh Weekend Donuts; Pick Your Own Br’zzouts; Free Playground & Pagan Party Palace.
DEAR FARMKETEERS: Want to hear a truly great brand name? Fruit of the Loom. Just think: Fruit… of the… LOOM. It’s marvelous. And that darling sketch of apples nestled in a bed of grapes sewn into the waistband of your … Continue reading
This Weekend’s Made-to-Order Weather for Your Farm-to-Table Adventure; Pick Your Own Apples, Pumpkins, and Brazzle Sprozzles; Sweet Cider & Donuts; Seed Garlic for Your Garden; High Harvest for U-Pick Heirloom Apples!
DEAR FARMKETEERS: Which one of these words does not belong? Shilly-shally, dilly-dally, helter-skelter, hoity-toity, higgledy-piggledy, pell-mell, pall-mall, zig-zag, wing-ding, ding-dong, mish-mash, argle-bargle, itsy-bitsy, easy-peasy, hanky-panky, okey-dokey, namby-pamby, bric-a-brac, flim-flam, handy-dandy, heebie-jeebies, hokey-pokey, hurdy-gurdy, loosey-goosey, twiddle-twaddle, willy-nilly, yadda-yadda. Do you know … Continue reading
Diamonds Are Forever, but Donuts Are for NOW; Come Pick Your Own Apples & Pumpkins & Brouts; Drink Sweet Cider & Hot Mulled Cider; Open Monday Holiday & Every Day; Moonshine Sale Ends Sunday.
DEAR FARMKETEERS: Little Bobby will become Bummed Out Bobby if you wait til the final week before Halloween to come pick your dream pumpkins. Just a heads-up. You don’t want to have to tell Little Bobby that her jack-o-lantern is … Continue reading
Top 11 Reasons to Hit “The Creek” This Week; Pick Apples & Pumpkins & Sprussel Brouts; Fresh Donuts & Hot Mulled Cider; Cut Your Own Sunflowers in the Maze; Huge Bulk Cider Sale; Got Honeycrisp?
DEAR FARMKETEERS: Breaking news – The president’s personal lawyer has just hired a former Watergate prosecutor to be his personal lawyer. Isn’t THAT a love triangle for the ages? Who knew democracy could be so cozy? So tidy and sweet? … Continue reading
Pick 15 Kinds of Autumn Apples, Knock Back Fresh Donuts with a Cider Chaser, Cut Sunflowers in the Maze, and – New This Week! – Control the Universe with Ginger, Radishes, and Brussels Sprouts!
DEAR FARMKETEERS: The days are getting shorter, but do not fear! Your to-do list is shrinking even faster. Yes, intrepid locavores! You have already picked ALL the strawberries, raspberries, peaches, pears, plums, nectarines, apricots, and garlic that we could grow … Continue reading