PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT new stuff.  This week, they’re buzzing about the Apple Watch and other gizmos.  But nothing brings us comfort like vintage objects or classic reruns.  So we’re rolling out an old favorite, a sentimental snack from the 80s… McIntosh apples!

Here to launch Mac season is everybody’s #1 news hack.  “Hello, Local Food Lovers!  Pick your own Macs in the Vintage Orchard!”

“That’s where plump old trees offer sweet treats like the McIntosh apple, first introduced in 1820 and beloved ever since.”

“Yes, folks, we’re conducting an ‘apple watch’ of our own.  All signs say it is time to pick Macs.  Now not later!”

“Pick 10 pounds or more and pay only 99¢ a pound!  You’ll save $4,000 compared to buying 10 pounds of Macs on apple.com!”

“The crisp and refreshing McIntosh apple is a key ingredient in Orchard Ambrosia.  Nothing but cold-filtered fruit.”

“Orchard Ambrosia is the key ingredient in apple cider donuts!  Served on Saturdays 10-3, Sundays 10-4.”

“Speaking of donuts… Won’t you join us for the 3rd Annual Pigs-n-Apples Party?” [ FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE | web page ]

“You can practice for the party by carving pumpkins NOW!  Pumpkin patch is already open and LOADED WITH BIG ONES.”

“While you’re pumpkin hunting, cut your own sunflowers for a BUCK A PIECE!  Please cut some, we got a bazillion.”

“In the next field over, you can pick hot peppers.  You will also find hots and sweets stocked at the farm stand.”

“Plenty of beefsteak, cherry, and heirloom tomatoes to pick next to the pepper rows.  Romas are kicked!”

“Peaches are kicked, too.  It’s a hard pill to swallow.  But, as they say, There’s an apple for that!  Pick a peck and sublimate your sorrows.”

“If Mac Therapy doesn’t work, try jamming a bunch of $1 sunflowers into your psyche.  Hope to see you at The ‘Creek!”