BELOVED FARMKEETEERS & LOYAL ‘CREEKNIKS:  The Fresh Crop Alerts get simpler this time of year.  Peaches are kaput.  Pears picked.  Strawberries a hazy memory.  Veggies are packing for Vegas.  That leaves apples.  It is apple season.  And pumpkin season.  Little red orbs, big orange orbs.  Please come harvest our best crops ever.  As you wander the farm, consider these tidbits from Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company & Conversation, by George Washington, written when he was around 15 years old.  He wasn’t president yet.

Pick Empire, Macoun (shown), Sweet 16, McIntosh, Cortland, and last chance Honeycrisp.  These are all delicious dessert apples, telltale varieties for high apple season.  Ask which rows are ready and we will show you the map.  George Washington’s Rule 68:  Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. 

Find your McIntoshes on orange-ribboned trees; Cortlands on yellow.  These are in the Vintage Orchard, the big trees that are about 100 years old.  They were planted around the time of the Great War.  Which was really only great in the sense of big.  A big war with untold global suffering.  At any rate these apples are tasty.  Rule 97:  Put not another bit into your Mouth until the former be Swallowed; let not your Morsels be too big for the jowls.

You have never eaten this kind of apple before.  It is called a “McCortland.”  In each $5 and $8 value bag, you will get a random mix of McIntosh and Cortland.  If you are not a seasoned apple person, you might not be able to tell the difference.  Best to say you are eating a McCortland.  Not clear which farm official thought these mixed bags were a good idea, but the sale is in effect now.  Rule 44:  When a Man does all he can though it Succeeds not well, blame not him that did it.  (Don’t blame MEN for being lame as long as they try?)

Pick your own pumpkins.  There is a big field absolutely crawling with big pumpkins.  Actually if you see one crawling, please call for help immediately.  We’ve asked them to sit still during daylight hours.  Rule 25:  Superfluous Compliments and all Affectation of Ceremony are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.  (Where are superfluous compliments due?)

Pick your last peppers, eggplants, and tomatoes.  Farmer Steve says they are “slim but there.”  Farm Fans from @birdskog.farm cooked up a 1-year supply of homemade sriracha from 8 POUNDS of U-pick hot peppers!  See the recipe on their fridge!  Rule 92:  Being Set at meat Scratch not, neither Spit, Cough, or blow your Nose except there’s a Necessity for it.

You can sing the Song of the Crabapple Fairy!  Farm Fan @doolittle.kelly, inspired by the “little red-headed imp” in one of our photos, told us to look up the little autumnal poem by Cicely Mary Barker.  Rule 15:  Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean, yet without Showing any great Concern for them.

Hi.  I’m Millie.  I work at the farmstand a couple days a week.  They put me on the scale, I weighed 5.52 pounds.  At the U-pick price of $1.95 per pound, I would go for $10.77.  I feel like I’m worth at least 20 George Washingtons.  Rule 110:  Labor to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience.

Make German apple cake.  Another Farmketeer raised the bar for farm baking with this German Apple Cake, featuring “lovely fragrant apples” from The ‘Creek.  Whoa, thank you, @vasanthanarayananwillford.  Rule 43:  Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.

Make pear upside-down cake.  A ‘Creeknik down the street, @orangecountertopbaking, impressed with this “pear up-side-down cake with gorgeous pears” from the farm.  Gorgeous cake!  Rule 16:  Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue, rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close.

Make apple crisp a là our hometown celebrity chef Emma Frisch of Firelight Camps.  Here’s what @emmafrisch says:  “A crisp is quite possibly the greatest dessert on Earth.  It is SO forgiving!  You can swap any fruit in and out, embellish the topping with various nuts, seeds, spices and flours, and cook it in a variety of ways.  But my favorite crisp, hands down, is an Apple Harvest Crisp with a crunchy almond flour and polenta topping baked to perfection in a Dutch oven on the grill (or in the campfire).”  Emma shares this recipe in her new cookbook Feast by Firelight which you can order from Amazon.  Thanks for using ‘Creek apples in your tasty work, Emma!  Photo by @ausavage.  Rule 50:  Be not hasty to believe flying Reports to the Disparagement of any.

Pick and snuggle!  Farm Fan @emma_m_thomas roamed the orchards with the apple of her eye.  She said, “I guess now that it’s officially fall, I’m cool with all the pumpkins, plaid, and apple picking.”  Can everyone PLEASEEEE wear plaid this weekend?  That would be so weird.  Rule 53:  Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open, go not Shaking your Arms, kick not the earth with your feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.

The orchards are soooooooo big.  If you’re so little.  ‘Creeknik @mommyteessa kept an eye on the apple of her eye.  Might be vest weather this weekend.  To go with your plaid.  Rule 35:  Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.

We will be on the Ithaca Commons all weekend at Apple Harvest Festival.  Find us right in the middle of things with our biggest stall ever.  The DONUT ROBOT will be there!  A second, brand new robot.  Follow your nose – fresh apple cider donuts downtown Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  The slushee machine will probably be there, too.  No slushees at the farm this weekend.  Rule 38:  In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physician if you be not Knowing therein.

YES there will be donuts at the farm, too.  You can still snarfle your dozen on Saturday and Sunday 10 to 6.  Rule 12:  Bedew no man’s face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.

Cool free event, Saturday, October 6 – Orchard tour and tasting at Eve’s Cidery.  We go way back and way deep with our dear friends at Eve’s Cidery.  They grow weird cider apples on hundreds of trees from our nursery and they make some of the best artisan ciders in the nation.  Look at their stack of national press coverage.  Eve’s Cidery is renowned for educating and inspiring so many producers in the current USA cider boom.  We’re really proud to know these restlessly creative biodynamic farmers from little Van Etten, New York.  Register here free for their orchard tour and tasting.  It would be cool if a whole mess of Farmketeers took their tour and bought bottles of brilliant champagne-style cider.  Rule 99:  Before and after Drinking, wipe your Lips, then breathe not then or Ever with too Great a Noise, for it’s uncivil. 

Love to y’all.  Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.