DEAREST FARMKETEERS, this is the state of things:  Your elected officials have their heads in the sand; many fellow citizens have their heads in their hands; the meteorologists have their heads in the clouds; and, the astronomers have their heads in the stars.  Surprisingly, it is the last of these who have provided us with actionable info.  Yes, Beloved ‘Creekniks, the stargazers have found two – maybe even three! – planets orbiting a nearby star.  All aboard?

In times like these, does it not seem to be a shorter trip to a fresh start on the exoplanets of “GJ887” than the halting and dubious slog toward an equitable earthly society that cares for its most vulnerable?  The new worlds are only 64 trillion miles away – a jaunt of merely a thousand billion years in a ’79 Chevette with the pedal to the floor and an asthmatic rattle under the hood.  And only 220,000 years on NASA’s latest rig!  Just yesterday we saw the strawberries queueing up for their mysterious annual exodus.  Is that where they go?

Sweet cherries always give the strawberries a lift down to the boatdocks.  They bid “fair winds and following seas.”

When the Pepper Fitzgerald shoves off, you hear an exuberant rendition of “Anchors Aweigh.”  No dry eyes on land or sea.

The green peppers were never known for their boatbuilding; this vessel sits a little low in the water.  But the Pepper Fitz is stalwart and seaworthy.

No one knows where the strawberries go.  Some folks have guessed the verdant highlands of Strawbistan; others surmise snowy Strawbania.  But new speculation swirls about the red dwarf star – a color-coded beacon to the berries – and its purported super-Earths.

We are sad to see them leave — but the raspberries aren’t.  Before the Pepper is out of earshot, they blast “Raspberry Beret” and launch their own party barge.

It is their time to shine after a long spring of hearing, “When are the strawberries ready?”  “The strawberries are so good, Mommy!”  And a lot more besides.

Yes, the passing of Independence Day means freedom from the incidental tyranny of the “in” crowd.  Once Aunt Fred hooks the first trophy bass, everyone can giggle at ease.

The youngsters know not to swim past the buoy, but the chance to steal a first kiss draws these two teens into risky business.

It is worth knowing that raspberries are marvelous swimmers.  We try to make each Fresh Crop Alert educational, and there’s your fact of the week.  In our best David Attenborough voice, we offer the following…

“They can freedive for 22 minutes at a time. The Sunny Goldens, in particular, have an otherwordly quality, an aquatic insouciance as they gambol undersea.”

“In their luminous, effortless pulsations, you can see their evolutionary cousins, the Jellyfish and Jamfish.”

Meanwhile the blueberries sit on the shore.  They are a more serious lot.  Too much revelry undermines their equipoise.  A quiet dip at dusk will do.

AND NOW THE ACTUAL NEWS…

Donuts are rolling off the Mark 2 Donut Robot 3 days a week this year.  You can get them Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 11:00 to 5:00.  Nick the Donut Kid is churning out fresh fried rings of fructotic splendor – sprinkled with cinnamon sugar if you must.  Simply say, “A sprinkle of sin, sugar.”  You can also get lemon slushees every day.  (Extra credit:  How many 1 inch thick donuts do you have to stack up to reach the GJ887 system 64 trillion miles away?  About 6 million trillion!  Or 6 trillion million!  Which is the same as 6 billion billion!  We can do this!  If we work together.)

Pick your own raspberries.  You will find multiple raspberry patches on the farm.  Well you might not FIND them, but they are here.  One in the “Central Plains” and one out past the Mutsu Orchard and one along the fenceline.  Try the map in our old 2019 brochure til we print a 2020 brochure.  It’s a great map that works like the 80-20 Rule, but tweaked to 20-60-20 and applied to small fruit farms.  Thus:  20% of customers need it bad but won’t use it, 20% know the farm inside out and don’t need it, and 59% swing with the prevailing winds.  That leaves 1%.  They own the Grand Cayman shell corp that owns the bank that owns the farm.  “Maps are for suckers,” you’d hear them chortle, snickering over stogies at the Risk board.  (“Kamchatka is mine!” barks one at the stroke of midnight.  Bing bonggg.)

Besides u-pick strawberries and raspberries, you can shop the farmstand.  As of Friday, seasonal goodies include Greg’s fresh garlic scapes, Alex’s noteworthy cucumbers, Gil’s honey, Sean’s honey, Sean’s syrup, our flowers, and local pottery by Shirley Brown including gorgeous berry bowls.  It is a pleasure to share these local products with you.  Shelves will be bursting with summer produce soon.

You can use your Farmers Market Nutrition Program (FMNP) coupons here.  We are set up to accept checks through the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children (WIC) and the similar program for seniors.  The federal program, administered through state agencies, was created to provide fresh, unprepared, locally grown fruits and vegetables to participants and to expand the awareness of farmers’ markets.

Love to y’all.  Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.