YOU MIGHT SAY THE FARM is the Other Hamptons:  a weekend escape for so many of our friends from New York City.  On a typical summer day, and late into the fall, you can find lawyers and bankers — alongside misfits and freakniks — pitching tents here for the country air and fireside chat.

This weekend our friends are not escaping New York — they are in deep waters downstate. So we are lighting a Good-Luck-O-Lantern in their honor, and pouring a round of Orchard Ambrosia. Godspeed to them all.

Meanwhile, down at the farm stand, we still have tons of apples. Beautiful Cortlands that look like cherries on steroids. All picked and ready for you.

Apples with special features get packed into “utility” bags — they are designed for your baking projects and marked down for quick sale.

This sack of blemished Rome Beauties speaks clearly to bakers and Dylan fans. “Bake me now,” it says, “for Tomorrow Is A Long Time.”

Our guy in England says that “the women” over there refer to Mutsu apples as “oven busters” — take a big one home and bake it, and you have a feast for two.

We still have gobs of pumpkins. Last week’s All-You-Can-Carry sale went pretty well. Lucy and Rob here got a good pile for pennies on the dollar.

Not to be outdone, this dad got help from the kids — and the vines — to maximize his haul. They hacked the system fair and square.

The sale intensifies this week — 50 cents a pound for winter squash and small pumpkins! Any pumpkins left Monday will feed The Piggery pigs!

So get your soup and pie ingredients now! Pumpkin pie… butternut squash soup… they warm the heart. Add a dollop of local sour cream and crumbles of feta.

The pepper sale is still hot. We have big bags that can flavor your whole winter — chop them now and freeze them. Thaw out a baggie a week.

Sprout season continues. The price is somewhere between 2 and 3 dollars. This piece of tape isn’t sure and neither are we. But it will all work out in the end.

Farm-fresh broccoli is 2 dollars a head. Or is it called a crown? Anyway, definitely 2 dollars, and definitely in the cooler. That much is clear.

This time of year can be a lovely kind of ugly. Leafless trees, slate gray skies, cold rains. All have their places. Same with yams — warts and all.

Ah, garlic, the “stinking rose.” It is a potent antiviral — and antivampiral — that is tough on colds and political allergies. Carry some on Election Day.

Garlic’s country cousin, the onion: it is the jack-of-all herbs. We know a guy who doesn’t like onions. We would ostracize him but he does eat onion rings.

The Dead Flower Sale was an epic fail. Apparently FREE wasn’t good enough. But we’re not going to PAY you to take them. We’re not complete chowderheads.

This weekend’s forecast is partly crappy with a 70% chance of crud. Best we can do is offer you donuts and hot cider — sugar and spice.

We’ll be here. The woodstove will be going. You’ve been so good to us this year — help us finish strong by using up the remaining crops.

Starting Monday, the stand will be self-serve on weekdays. We plan to be here on the weekends through November, but it will depend on weather and stuff.

Finally, remember that the biggest sale of all happens on Tuesday: pay absolutely nothing and get all the presidents you can carry. As luck would have it, 99.9% of us can only carry one president. So choose wisely. We apple farmers are voting on the Spitzenburg Esopus ticket.

Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.