TO A STRAWBERRY, you are Godzilla. You stomp and chomp with great smashing and gnashing. But the berries like it. They love it. They live for it.
They celebrate strawberry season as the time to embrace the ultimate fate of a strawberry. It is peak season for betrothals and berr mitzvahs.
These two loveberrds got jittery when the photographer came round. They wanted everything to be just perfect, but Berryanne dropped the bouquet.
No problem, Shortcake. Let’s try again. Places, everyone! Find Your Thrill on Strawberry Hill … Take 2!
And on that sunny June day, sweet Berryanne and big Smoothie found their bliss. We farmers were only too glad to help them on their way.
Won’t you help the others? We have a big crop this year, despite the heavy rains. Perspicacious pickers have been out here every day.
We have the stand ready for self-serve shopping. Come under the portico to find picking boxes, pre-picked quarts, and the slot for your bills.
You don’t want to come in the side door. It is the door closest to the phone jack, and we have barricaded it against federal wiretappers.
Don’t be scared if you see Sheila in the parking lot. Remember, God loves ugly. Anyway, her bark is worse than her bite. Not much, mind you!
Here is the shopping zone. We will open up the full farm stand later in the season, when fresh crops are coming in left and right.
Here are the berries. Grab and go for $6 a quart, or pick your own to save a bundle. Only $4 a quart and $12 for a 4-quart box!
The strawberry field is out back this year, on the hilltop with glorious views. Follow the signs for tomatoes, even though there are no tomatoes yet.
The first sign is the most challenging of all. The post is empty, and the welcome sign is 50 feet up the road. Beat this stage and you are on your way.
After a few more brain teasers, you will see this one. The yellow arrow is your man. Follow that up to Strawberry Hill.
It’s a nice hike, not too steep, and your cardios will be gently roused. If you are driving, you can park on the grassy strip, on the left side of the photo.
If you arrive at this rock, you are lost. Fire your iPhone’s flare gun—the Feds can eavesdrop on THAT—and we will escort you to the berry patch.
Speaking of berry patches, the raspberries are coming along beautifully. Stay tuned for a raspberry alert in a few weeks.
It has been a joy to see so many of you picking berries despite the rain and mud. With a little sun we will have an absolute explosion of strawberries. In honor of Father’s Day, we leave you this bouquet of weeds wrapped in duct tape.
Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.