YOU DESERVE a local food commendation if you shop at the farm in December. (Trophies are reserved for January diehards.) Come get apples, sprouts, and squash. Bulk cider is only $5 a gallon.
BIG CIDER SALE: You can drop off your carboys and we will fill them at our Friday pressings for $6/gallon—and only $5/gallon if you get 20 gallons or more! Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with your phone number, how many gallons, and which Friday you want to have your carboys filled. The rest of you can still buy gallons and half-gallons of Orchard Ambrosia every day of the week.
What is a carboy? It’s a big jug for making hard country hooch. Some carboys have fun-looking science stuff attached. In The Sign of the Four, Sherlock Holmes said to Watson, “You can see the outline of his small foot here at the side of this evil-smelling mess. The CARBOY has been cracked, you see, and the stuff has leaked out.”
The word carboy comes from the Persian, karaba, which is defined as a large glass flagon. Great, so now we have to look up “flagon.” A flagon is a large bottle in which wine or cider is sold. Thus, carboy, flagon, demijohn… they all mean bottle. Bring yours.
For our next lesson, we move from Persia to Greece. As always, we have consulted the ancients when devising our pricing model. Pythagoras taught us the “right” approach to Brussels Sprouts: 3-4-5. For a family of four, we recommend the hypotenuse.
If that blows your mind, or if you find the stalks “too real,” grab the $2 option. Pre-stripped and ready for your wok.
Everyone is like, “BOOOORING, what am I supposed to do with these little squash?” Well, did you know that farmers use acorn squash in place of bobbleheads and snowglobes? Try one on your desk at work. They are very calming. Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.