Yearly Archives: 2019

Sound the Horn, er, Hen of Plenty! Pick Your Own Apples, Peaches, Vegetables, and Flowers; Come to Saturday Class on Medicinal & Traditional Uses of Peaches; Get Sweet Cider & Fresh Donuts.

DEAR FARMKETEERS:  Uni means “one,” and corn means “horn.”  Thus unicorn means “one horn.” Meanwhile copia means “plenty,” as in copious.  So cornucopia means “horn of plenty,” from the Classical Latin.  But words slip and slide over the eons.  Nowadays, … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

Why Sh*t Happens and What You Can Do About It; the Occult Power of Alabaster Platypus; Pick Your Own Apples, Tomatoes, Eggplants, Peppers, and Flowers; Sweet Fresh Cider and Weekend Donuts.

DEAR FARMKETEERS:  Three-year-old kids are the world’s top Why Machines.  “Why, Mommy?”  “Why, Papa?”  “Why why why why?”  You give your best shot at an appropriate answer each time, only to secure another “Why?” in return.  Then one day you … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

How to Steal from Your Future Self and Feel Real Bad About It, Then Bounce Back by Eating Fresh Local Peaches, Tomatoes, Eggplants, Peppers, Raspberries, Apples, Donuts, and Sweet Cider.

BELOVED ‘CREEKNIKS:  What do you call it when you really want sweet peaches and tomatoes, but your farmer gives you early apples?  A CSA share!  Kidding.  CSAs can be lovely for buyers and vital for farmers.  But you’ve probably had … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

You Could Be Im-PEACHED! Come Pick the Very First Peaches, Tomatoes, Veggies, and Apples; Hooray for $1000 to Save Open Space Forever; and, Pleaseeee (Please) BYOBags!

NEW FARM RULE!  Anyone who uses the F-word or A-word before September 21 shall be punished.  That’s right, no peach-picking privileges for any person who says “fall” or “autumn” while summer is still here.  Don’t be a Donny Downer.  Don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

Fight Berry Breath with Garlic! One-Day U-Pick Garlic Harvest Party Saturday; Pick Raspberries, Flowers, Eggplant, Sweet Peppers; Glean Last Strawberries Freee! Expanded Donut Hours.

DEAR FARMKETEERS, let’s hope you find this 1-page newsletter more useful than the 443-page Mueller Report, at least in the short-term.  Long-term, who can say?  But for the here and now, this little Fresh Crop Alert contains actionable intel, totally … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

Lovebirds in a Heatwave! First American Farm to Harvest Giant Pink Circles for Everyone; Pick Strawberries & Raspberries; Garlic Party; Goodbye Plastic Bags – Try a New Farm Tote or BYOB.

IT’S TRUE, DEAR FARMKETEERS:  Even a broken clock is right twice a day.  Yes, as the world turns, even we dimwits and dullards can look like prodigies and professors for a brief flash… before we fumble back to normal.  The … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

Time to Reach for the Raspberries; We Accept Women, Infant, Children and Senior Farm Coupons; 40% Off Last Wave Strawberry Picking; and, the Shocking Truth About Where the Strawberries Go.

DEAREST FARMKETEERS:  The burden of the firstborn is not inconsiderable.  Everybody knows it’s hard to be the trailblazer… groundbreaker… trendsetter.  But do we always remember that the first in line is also the first mistake maker and first failer?  Do … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

Happy Berrythday, America. Last Big Weekend of Strawberry U-Pick! Get 40% Off! Special Donut Day on July 4th, First Raspberries to Pick, and New Farm Dog Policy.

DEAR FARMKETEERS:  Nobody called it cross-dressing when the Founding Fathers wore powdered wigs whilst declaring our independence from the powder-wigged oppressors across the pond.  And what did the Founding MOTHERS think of those getups?  Just something to ponder whilst you … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

Shape of the Multiverse Revealed! Get 33% Off U-Pick Strawberries; New Cider Slushees FREE When You Bike to the Farm! Apple Cider Every Day, Donuts on Weekends.

DEAR FARMKETEERS:  We humans are sure of ourselves, are we not?  We swore the earth was flat until we found out it was round.  Even after that, we thought spacetime itself was flat, until we proved that it was curved.  … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz

Save 33% on Strawberries When You Pick Your Own Peck; Come Soon, Season Lasts a Short Couple Weeks; Cider & Donuts Ready.

FARM FANS:  We have about 2 weeks to Make America Strawberry Again.  No, it’s not because the Orange One will raise his pumpkinny pennant over the Very White House on July 4 and declare victory over democracy – that quaint … Continue reading

Posted in Crop Alerts & Farm Buzz