DEAR FARMKETEERS: We humans are sure of ourselves, are we not? We swore the earth was flat until we found out it was round. Even after that, we thought spacetime itself was flat, until we proved that it was curved. Longer still we thought the universe was infinite, until Albert “I-Did-All-the-Math-Without-Any-Help-From-My-Wife-Cough-Cough” Einstein told us that the universe was, on the contrary, FINITE. That brings us up to date, leaving only the question du jour: What is the shape of the multiverse?
Strawberry shape, no doubt. Each parallel universe with its very own protuberance. Please don’t ask how we know. Farmers just know things. There’s the Old Farmers’ Almanac, for example, which has delivered flawless weather forecasts since 1792, a full 113 years before Einstein man-splained us with relativity brainbenders like: The faster you move through space, the slower you move through time. Whoa.
Truth is, no matter how slow YOU are moving through time, the strawberries are totally hightailing it – the season will go POOF in about a week. In 2018 the strawberries were kicked by about July 5th. So come pick your own peck soon. But what is a peck, you ask? (Aside: This Fresh Crop Alert brought to you by the yellow Go Finger Lakes sticker on the pole shown above.)
A peck is 8 quarts. It is almost as big as a kid. Pick a peck for 33% off. A peck is 8 quarts and a quart is $7. That would make a peck $56 in flat spacetime. But for Farmketeers – intrepid travelers on the twisty Riemannian manifold of relativity theory – your peck will only be $38! Thus you will save $18 simply by picking a peck of berries in the multiverse. Works out to about $4.75 a quart. The volume discount kicks in at a peck, so you’ve got to come ready to pick. But what to do with 8 quarts?
Perfect for snacking, baking, blending, preserving, and sharing. Like these strawberry lilac cream puffs by @aras_jasmine. These extraordinary bon bons are her “go-to pâte à choux filled with lilac whipped cream and @indiancreekfarmithaca strawberries macerated with fresh lilac-infused sugar.” Yummmmm mmmm mmmm mmm. Mmmmm. Mm.
2019 debut of the cider slushee! Get a freebie slushee if you cycle to the farm this weekend! People who pedal deserve a biker’s bonus. After you pick a peck of strawberries into your panniers, fuel up for the ride home with apple power.
Donuts every Saturday and Sunday 11:00 to 5:00. The Mark II Donut Robot knows how to do ONE thing in life – pump out toroidal frybombs of fructotic splendor. Sprinkle yours with cinnamon sugar or eat them “neat.”
Apple cider, “Orchard Ambrosia,” Nectar of the Gods, er, Dogs. Yes, we still have the last apples of last harvest – “keepers” as they call them, apples that store well. And we’re pressing them into cider til it’s gone. It’s October in June. But don’t be scared. It’s still just June. But only for a few days.
Garlic scapes. Farmer Greg’s savory specialty. About 96.4% of you (up from 94.3% in last week’s estimate) have never tasted garlic scapes. You can’t parade around the Finger Lakes acting all locavore foodie if you haven’t sizzled these in a pan or pickled them for off-season snacks. Scape season is short! Try a tangle. (Pictured with basil which will be picking soon.)
Blueberries. Here at the farm stand. Ready to take home. They might be good smushed into a donut hole. Or slathered up on waffles with sliced strawberries. Your choice.
Love to y’all. Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.