BRITISH PEOPLE ARE such badasses.  They bite into scarred and scabby apples as readily as they levy taxes on overseas colonies.

They festishize the pippins and russets and kernels.  A gnarly, busted up skin is believed to reveal an Old-World flavor beneath.

Americans, by contrast, insist on the shimmering dream apple that Barbie used to tempt Ken in the Garden of Plastic.  Shininess is next to godliness.

Luckily, High Apple Season is here.  We have boutique apples for Britons (and wannabes) and a gigantic burst of New York favorites, including Empire, Fuji, Macoun, Cortland, and McIntosh.  Big time picking starts now, and excited apples are wandering the farm to promote next Saturday’s Pigs-n-Apples Party.  Please enter your homebaked apple pie into the contest!

Last week’s Mac sale continues—get up to 33% off u-pick McIntosh apples in the Vintage Orchard.  Find the orange ribbons.

Cortland apples (yellow ribbons) are now included in the same sale!  Long-time readers will remember this demonstration from 2011.

Meanwhile, the Dwarf Orchard goes into high gear.  Empire apples—those boisterous New Yorkers—are clamoring to be picked.

And right nearby, Early Fuji, also known as Beni Shogun Fuji, is sending the same message:  “We are ripe.  Take us home.”

In the same neighborhood you will find Macoun.  Rhymes with Da Clown.  A very tasty cross between McIntosh and Jersey Black.

The Dwarf Orchard is great because you don’t need to be a giant to reach the best apples.  This fellow is only 40 feet tall.

Also picking:  Raspberries, tomatoes, eggplant, peppers, and more.   This sign points toward the Brussels Sprouts, which aren’t ready.

Ah, England.  Apples that look like taters.  “Food, glorious food,” sang Oliver Twist.   “Peas, pudding, and saveloys… and tater-looking apples.”

We know a lad in England named Orange Pippin.  Seriously, that’s his name.  He is gaga about this apple.  ‘Tis said to be the best.

We have gone plum crazy at the stand.  Bring your 2-dollar bills, and nobody will have to mess around with change.

Corn, squash, garlic, onions, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, zucchini, apples, pears, and fresh-pressed Orchard Ambrosia.

And, of course, Honeycrisp apples!  All picked and waiting for you at the stand.

When it comes to beasts of burden, we have The King.  Zorro’s work ethic is matchless and his enthusiasm for the apple harvest is unbridled.

Natasha isn’t far behind.  She’ll do anything to help the farm, as long as all of her needs are met at every moment along the way.

Well, we sure have a crap-ton of stuff to do.  Picking apples, fixing barns, and getting set up for the Pigs party—which we haven’t started yet.  Meantime, there is a HUGE apple crop to pick.  Hope to see you at The ‘Creek.